BY LOGAN LEVKOFF, MS

Think you’re the only one who wants to bring another body into the bedroom? Think again. Yes, it’s true that our media is chock-full of images of the quintessential male fantasy: a threesome with Betty and Veronica (the blond girl next door and the brunette vixen). But we, too, have dreams of hot, passionate threesomes (and sometimes foursomes). You’re not the only one.

But before you get all excited and start planning, keep in mind that not all of us want to act on these fantasies; they’re complicated—even if they seem like an easy way to spice up your love life. Never suggest your girlfriend’s best friend as the perfect threesome addition—your relationship will be doomed by mistrust and constant scrutiny.

Even if your girlfriend is totally into a threesome, it’s not a simple transaction. There are things to consider: Who picks the third person? Is it a man or a woman? (And, believe me, if you expect us to be into your fantasy, be prepared to bring another guy into bed for us, too.) What are the rules? Who goes first? Is intercourse allowed? And how will you deal with insecurity? What if you’re too attentive to the third person? What if you think that your partner is? How are you going to deal with sexual health? Are you using condoms? Do you require testing for HIV and other STIs? (Not trying to be a total buzzkill, but sometimes acting out your fantasies can be very complicated in real life.)

The bottom line is, you and your partner must decide what is acceptable behavior during this threesome and negotiate your boundaries and limits before you venture into the bedroom. While an actual threesome may be out of the realm of possibilities, there may be ways to incorporate elements of a threesome into your sex life. Threesomes are about novelty—a new person thrown into the mix, another set of hands, an extra tongue, heightened sensations all over. While you can’t add an extra tongue, you or your partner can play that role of “someone different.” Wear a wig, put on a costume and act like somebody completely different from your every day persona—or talk about what excites you about a threesome and find ways to act that out. While it isn’t the same (yes, I am certain of that), it may be enough to spice things up while protecting your relationship—physically and emotionally. Otherwise, put on a good erotic film and get it on: It will look—and sound—like someone else is there, which may be just enough to get you going.

Logan Levkoff is the host of The Lowdown. Levkoff is the author of The Espresso Dating Guide and Third Base Ain’t What It Used to Be.

Want more sex? Check out the November/ December issue of Maximum Fitness—on newsstands October 28, 2008.