Sometimes dating isn’t fair. This may just be the cry of men who can’t get a second date, but after several failed evenings, spending that dating money on a trip to Amsterdam’s Red Light District seems like an attractive prospect. Women have the dating upper hand for several key reasons.

It’s the woman’s choice to pursue dating proposals.
Men are often less
discerning about dating, so women are swamped with potential dates. To illustrate this point, ask a female friend how many men ask her out in a week; compare that to how often women approach you. Women have more choices and can afford to be choosy. Women are more social than men. “A woman uses about 20,000 words a day, while a man uses about 7,000,” writes Dr. Louann Brizendine, author of The Female Brain. The conversational savvy that a woman brings to the dating table is a nuke compared to a man’s slingshot.

Worsening matters, men have few dating-advice outlets. A man generally can’t ask his buddies because they will ridicule him. In contrast, women have their girlfriends and tons of media for advice, all of which are socially acceptable.

To turn the tide, men need to work on self-improvement. A woman chooses her partner, but a man can affect that choice through words and actions. Here are three key attractive aspects to display to a woman while dating.

1. Be confident. She wants you to make decisions—appropriate ones, of course. She’s testing how much of a man you really are.

2. Give as good as her. If a woman tosses you a playful attitude, throw it right back. It’s all in good fun.

3. Speak with passion about the people and activities you care about and she’ll be taken into your world.

Overcome the conversation deficit. Most men grunt their way through life. This is acceptable if you live in a cave, but presently it’s not filling up your social calendar. Get out of your head and talk to people. Interact with everyone you meet. If you can’t talk to your mailman, you can’t talk to a beautiful woman.

Ray “Gypsy” Timmons is a dating and attraction coach for the Stylelife Academy.

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